Parenting for Life!

Have you ever been in a public place and watched a mom and child in the height of a meltdown? Have you ever been that mom? Standing helplessly by, watching your normally even-tempered child turn into an unrecognizable creature and feeling as if you were the most ill-suited person on earth to care for said child? Today we are going to talk a little about emotions, both yours and your child's and why having an emotional connection and coaching your child through their emotions makes all the difference for both of you. WHAT IS HAPPENING? Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, has said that "[we] need to realize that relationships and emotional connection are the foundations for learning." Oftentimes our children are being overwhelmed by feelings and emotions that they do not understand. They are unable to put a name on what they are feeling, not to mention understand why anger, hurt, disappointment, or other emotive feelings are coursing through their body. Even...

Have you ever told your child they were so smart after completing a task? How did it feel? What were your reasons? I am sure all of us want to encourage our children as they learn and grow. We want them to have a strong sense of self, of esteem, and to feel that they have the power to accomplish anything they set their mind to. Would you be surprised to learn that you might be undermining your child's ability to do so?  WHAT IS HAPPENING? When we tell our children that they are smart or talented, we may be unintentionally placing a limit on their growth. As this seems to be the exact opposite of what we are trying to do, we may at first glance disagree with this assessment. Let's suspend our initial reactions for a moment and look at this concept a little closer. Talent and smarts are seen as something with parameters, God-given or what you are born with. Effort is eliminated from the picture and this is where the damage lies.   Dr. Carol S. Dweck has said "Praising child...

How many of us find ourselves constantly correcting our children? Stop fighting with your brother! Pick up your room. Do your homework. Get off the electronics! We may find ourselves wondering if there is an end to this constant policework side of parenting. WHAT IS HAPPENING? According to the Arbinger Institute, we may have our focus backwards. At first glance, you might say "But wait! I need to correct my child when they are doing things that aren't correct. How will they learn otherwise?" The answer to this is two-sided. While we do want to make sure our children understand right from wrong, if you are constantly repeating yourself, chances are your children know right from wrong already. The correcting of our children should be the smallest part of our interactions, and not the largest one (Arbinger Institute, 1998). If this isn't the case, the problem may lie in the foundational levels of our parenting - within ourselves.  WHY? In a 1998 article explaining The Pa...